- Author: Dr. Amel BENCHAREF
- Publisher: ببلومانيا للنشر والتوزيع
- Category: Self-Help
- Page: 104
- View: 503
Hard, sad and unbearable were those days, I still remember my insomnia in those nights, mixed with fear, self-doubt, insecurity, and self-rejection. Yes, I still remember everything, every single tear and sough. I was sitting in that room in that rented house surrounded by all my memories good and bad ones. I was hardly trying to identify myself; however, I couldn't even find it. "You are DEPRESSED", my doctor diagnosed me; "DEPRESSED!", I replied. For me that word has never existed in my vocabulary, it was created at that moment. All I knew and could recognize in that situation is that I began wandering, and I could assert to no one but myself that I WAS LOST! I quitted my job as a university professor just after earning my Ph.D., and moved to a new country as a wife; who became a mother after ten days of her entrance to Canada. A mother who is abruptly exposed to motherhood with strange, sweet, and gloomy feelings and thoughts. Being jobless, homeless and a mother who changes diapers and prepares formulas every two hours could be a persuasive reason to kiss my mind goodbye. I started smoothly being brutal and aggressively losing my femininity. "